I want to learn more about photography.

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I have been saying this for YEARS.

YEARS!

I feel like some of you might be shaking your head at me right now. I am shaking my head at me right now.

I mean, I know about photography.

Sort of.

Kind of.

I seem to know about photography. But basically, I’m fooling you.

YEP! FOOLING!

Basically, I know what kind of camera I have and that it has a LOT of buttons.

I know how to use some of the buttons, but there is still, in my mind, SO MUCH to learn.

I mean, okay okay, I’ll give myself a little more credit than just knowing the camera model and some of the buttons… I’ll admit that I know MORE about photography than I used to. I’ve come a long way since my point and shoot and since the beginnings of this blog. I’ll give myself a pat on the back for that.

I know how to take a pretty decent pictures (at least I think I do), because I have a pretty good eye for taking good shots (again, or so I think).

But still.

I’m just not 100% satisfied. Or even 75%.

I’m satisfied with my images, but I’m not satisfied with my knowledge.

Does that make sense?

Basically, I want to know more, I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING.

Mostly, I think it just takes practice.

But also, a class or two couldn’t hurt.

So, my 2013 goals for photography are:

Take two DSLR photo classes (an intro, and then an intermediate)

Take a lightroom course

Take a photoshop elements course

PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE

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Up until now I’ve been cheap and haven’t splurged on anything to improve my photography aside from buying my fancy cam. But I think some specific instruction is the next step I have to take to reach my goals– to feel more comfortable and more confident. The classes above are just a guide and not set in stone. If you have any ideas/recommendations for me, please let me know– I’d love to hear them!

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For the most part, I will be displaying my practice on this here blog.

Tastefully, of course, but I think it’s safe to preface this goal/challenge with this:

I hope you guys like pictures.

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{Read more about my 2013 goals here}

I am going to go ahead and start off this post by admitting that I am a horrible listener. Not to my friends, or to my coworkers, or to my students, but to my family, and a lot of the time, to Zan.

It’s not that I don’t care (I do), or that I’m bored (I’m not), I’m just distracted.

That’s it, I said it.

I’m distracted.

Distracted by my phone and by twitter and by instagram– by this silly little online world that I actually REALLY ADORE. Which is, in all honestly, the hard part. I feel a sense of community and friendship here that I miss about high school and college. Girlfriends and inside jokes and witty banter all day everyday everysinglesecond.

I’m an extrovert, so I think I crave this social time, which in some ways makes social media really great, and in other ways (ahem, working on my listening skills) makes it really not so great.

But, my real life relationships are more important than my online ones and I KNOW THAT. I absolutely do.

It’s funny, because when I’m out with friends I usually don’t touch my phone. I’m present and looking and listening. But somehow, when I’m with Zan, or my sister, or my parents, the phone makes it’s way out into the open, more times than I’d like to admit. It’s annoying, and to be honest, it’s not fair.

I’ve decided it’s because I’m taking these people for granted. I’m assuming because I see them all the time, or because they know me the best, that they won’t mind. That we have hours, days, years of time together, that just one peak at my twitter feed or my instagram likes won’t matter in the long run.

But I’ve realized that this is not okay. Not to the extent that I’m doing it anyways. Because these people are actually the people who I want to spend the MOST time with. Make the most memories with. Keep the most sacred in my heart of hearts.

I don’t know at which point I realized it’s a real problem for me.

Maybe it’s my sister telling me over and over again that I’m not listening.

Maybe it’s the (loads) of times that I’ve had to ask  Zan to repeat himself when he’s telling me about his day, or a story, or his weekend away.

I think the first step is realizing you have a problem. And then the next step is working to fix it. I know what my problem is, and so I’ll work on fixing it this year. Or at least work to make it better. The path to the solution is going to have to start at home (where the problem is the biggest)– here in the walls of my house, at the end of the day.

My goals for being a better listener are simple:

1. Computer time after work only, before Zan gets home (or if he’s working late).

2. Put the phone away, on the charger, or out of sight when in the house (and out on the town).

3. Be present– listen harder, think deeper, respond more genuinely.

Simple, but hard. So I’ll just need to keep reminding myself this: my relationships with my favorite people are what’s most important, everything else can wait.

If I don’t finish a post, it’ll just have to get done another day.

And if I’m not tweeting gibberish as often, now you’ll know why.

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I’m ready to be more present and I’m ready to start listening.

It’s just a start, but I’m going to try.

I want to try.

I have to try.

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{Read about my resolutions for 2013 here.}