i was a dancer.

I was a dancer once.

That print was in the studio where I danced and that painting, well besides it being absolutely gorgeous, is one of my favorites because it’s pretty much the exact outfit I always wore.

I used to fling my body through the air and through space, freeing myself up unto the heavens.

It is one of the best feelings in the world.

I was a dancer and I loved it.

I don’t dance much anymore and it’s sad, but sometimes, sometimes in the summertime I find myself dancing again on the beach. It’s usually when the sun’s about to set and the crowds have gone home. Through the sand I move and glide and jump and twirl. I put some music in my head and I just dance. I jump through the sunlight and the salty air and I feel that feeling that I felt such a long time ago.

I was a dancer and I miss it.

That’s the thing about growing up sometimes. You don’t do the things you used to love to do. You find new things to love, and new things you’re good at, but sometimes you have to leave those old things behind. Or they get left behind somehow as you grow older and you’re not quite sure how to get them back.

I dance on the beach and I dance on my glossy wood floors from time to time, spinning around and around, but I don’t really dance anymore. And I miss it.

I miss it.


  1. I understand this SO much. I feel the same way about playing piano, or being in a theater production. but I don’t want to devote all of my nights to a community show and my apartment doesn’t fit a piano. I think I’ve put my creative juices into cooking, baking, blogging. things I can do. but I hope when I move I can take up piano again if I have a bigger space. perhaps there’s a place you can take a lesson once a week?

    • Me too! I used to practice every single day for at least an hour, often more. It was just such an escape…and it was how people identified me. I have a weighted keyboard that I sometimes play on, but it’s not the same as sitting at a real piano and working on something that will be meaningful to other people too. I can’t wait until I can afford my own real piano and play for my children.

      And Anna, one of my most vivid childhood memories is my mom dancing with us. I’m sure you’ll be that mom. =)

    • Love that you both used to play piano! I always wanted to be good at that. We had a piano in my house growing up and I used to make up songs. It was fun, and I thought i was pretty good (haha), but I hated lessons for some reason. I hated practicing!!

      I need to find a dance studio for reals. I found one once, and took a class, but I was so sore afterwards I haven’t been back! I really love it though, so maybe if I find one I like that has adult classes I can get into some kind of weekly routine. This is my new goal for summer!

      • that seems like an awesome goal (and totally doable). OR…clair and i could play the piano for you and you could dance for us while we play? i mean, that would be totally awesome, too.

  2. You should definitely find a studio where you can take some casual classes. The great thing about hobbies are that you can pick them up and put them down at your own whimsy and you should definitely pick it up if you miss it

  3. I could definitely see you picking this back up :)

  4. I understand this so much. It makes me sad that I don’t have the time or opportunity to do some of the things I used to love, but I am so happy I have found new things to love.

  5. I love the pretty ballet art! The print and painting are awesome!

    And I know exactly how you feel, I used to be a great artist and make art every day… and now I haven’t done it in AGES. And I miss it and feel so guilty that I don’t do it anymore like I should or wish I could… maybe we can? Maybe we can find a way to take a class or pick it back up?!?

  6. How true that is. When we grow up, we leave some things behind…good things and things we love. I didn’t know you danced! I have always wanted to, but am not gifted in that area. haha! I hope you find a way to work it back in to your life because something you love and miss that much deserves a place.

  7. stefanie says:

    I danced my whole life, including through college and one year following.

    Lately I’ve been thinking about starting back up again, but finding the time for ballet in an adult life is so hard. I hope to find the time again eventually, but for now I’ll just dance around my kitchen like you dance on the beach :)

  8. AH! This is EXACTLY how I feel about cheerleading. Now that we’re grownups there’s no real way to replicate that feeling of going to the studio (or gym) with our peeps and doing our thang. Did you compete? That was always my favorite part.

    Confession: I STILL watch our 1st-place cheer competition video. Like, more than I should. #glorydays

    • No competitions, just performances. performing in general is such a high. one of my favorite parts about dancing that I’ll likely never experience again. Thank goodness for the memories!!

  9. So well said. Though I do really really think you should come dance with me :) :)

  10. I read this post yesterday and it totally struck home with me!! I danced for about 18 years and stopped my junior year in college, I always new I would miss it, but NEVER this much. The feeling of losing myself in the music, turns and jumps, there is nothing better!! Not sure if you have heard of the studio in Brookline, but its for adults only and you can drop in on any class, they literally offer EVERYTHING, and I have gone a few times it’s such a blast! They have a site, http://www.studiocfa.com

  11. LET’S DO A DANCE CLASS! :) i’ve been wanting to do more dance lately. holla at cho girl.

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